Jak jsem zbila chlapečka… a jiné vzpomínky

Každý průvodce je jiný. Každý člověk je jiný. Někdo jde provádět, že má lidi rád, někdo jde provádět, že má rád ty památky a lidi nuceně trpí.

Já jsem byla první případ. Provádění mi vždycky přišlo jako bezva způsob jak pracovat s lidma v prostředí, které mi vyhovuje.

Pak jsem poznala peklo na zemi v podobě dětských skupin a školních zájezdů. Než se nějaký chytráček v komentářích ozve, že nemůžeme házet všechny do jednoho pytle, tak ať si sáhne do svědomí a uvědomí si, kolik těch pohodových a bezproblémových dětských skupin viděl! Ono i kdyby většina dětí byla nejhodnější, tak tam bude stoprocentně jeden „vtipný“, „třídní rebel“, „osobnost“ smrádek.

Nejproblémovější jsou obecně děcka, který doma rodiče vychovávají jako takzvanou „osobnost. Děcko nemá nastavené hranice, doma se k němu chovají jako k modle, může všechno, vždycky si vydupe svou. Většinou takovéhle smrady vychovávají líný rodiče, kteří se nechtějí starat, nebo provinilý rodiče, kteří si svoje chyby uvědomují a kompenzují je absencí jakékoliv výchovy a hranic.
Malé osobnosti pak vyrůstají v tom, že jsou pupek světa a můžou všechno, jejich okolí tak zažívá peklo na zemi. (Zeptejte se učitelek takových smrádků. Rodiče totiž bezvýhradně zaujímají stranu svých ratolestí a učitel je jedině bitý!)

Edit vsuvka: Nechci aby to vypadalo, jakože nemám ráda děti. Já dokonce děti miluju. Kolikrát cítím upřímnou náklonnost k naprosto cizím dětem. JENOM MUSÍ BÝT VYCHOVANÉ!!! Dítě musí mít nastavené hranice, znát pravidla chování a hlavně respektovat ostatní lidi!

Za ty roky provádění jsem se naučila s dětmi pracovat tak, aby prohlídka probíhala co nejklidněji. Nejmenší děti jsou v tomhle nejzlatější, protože stačí na ně vytáhnout princezny a strašidla a i to nejproblémovější děcko se zklidní a napjatě poslouchá. Na pubertu zase platí vtipný odpal. Na blbou poznámku, blbý stěr. (Můj street kredit u tady těchhle partiček je mega vysokej! :-D)

Občas se ale stane, že prostě narazíte na takovou osobnost, že si s ní neporadíte. Normálně se mi vyplatilo takovou figurku prostě ignorovat a soustředit se na děti, kterým se prohlídka líbí a zajímá je. Občas to ale nejde.

Jako třeba když přijel Michálek z 1.B.

Třída prvňáčků, na první pohled fajn skupinka. Malé děti jsou haptické, chtějí si na věci sahat. Kór na hradě a zámku. Většinou si hned na začátku vysvětlíme, proč se na některé věci nemůže sahat a pak to čas od času opakovat, když se jim to z hlaviček vykouří.

Ne tak ale v tomhle případě. Prohlídka začala. Od prvního momentu bylo jasné, že malý Michálek, který měl červenou bundičku, sedm let a asi metr na výšku, je OSOBNOST. V kapitálkách, doslova kapitální osobnost. Učitelka už se ani nesnažila ho usměrňovat měla v očích naprosto mrtvo, Michálek z ní vysál všechen život ani ne za 10 měsíců školní docházky.

Procházeli jsme prvními místnosti, ukazovali si zajímavé obrazy, nábytky a nejraději si povídali o legendách a pověstech a příbězích. V každé místnosti se děti rozběhly k nábytku s nataženými pracičkami, na poslední chvíli se vždycky zarazily, ručičky založily za záda a odcouvaly zase zpátky ke mě.

Ne tak Michálek.

Cca ve třetí místnosti byl velmi nešťastně u provázku umístěný rokokový stolek. Blízko, ale ZA provázkem.
Děti se rozběhly, já si odkašlala, děti založily ručičky a odcouvaly ke mě.

Ne tak Michálek.

Ten vykročil z linie svých spolužáků, zamířil k provázku, s ledovým klidem mi pohlédl do očí a zatímco mě fixoval pohledem, natáhl ten svůj malý ulepený pařát a ťápl ho na stolek.

V první vteřině šok. Stále jsem ještě zachovala klid. Přistoupila jsem k Michálkovi a ptám se:

„Proč jsi to udělal, když už po osmé jsme si říkali, že se na věci nesahá, aby se neponičily?“

(Nedokážu popsat ledový klid s jakým mi to děcko se zakloněnou hlavou hledělo do očí zatímco proneslo následující slova. Ručičku stále přitisknutou na desku stolu.)

Mě nemůžete nic udělat, můj táta je pan XY a on je hrozně důležitej.“

A tady jsem selhala. Ruka mi vyletěla rychleji, než hlava stačila zareagovat. Vlepila jsem Michálkovi pohlavek se slovy: „Tatínka mi pošli, já mu ráda vysvětlím proč jsi dostal.“

Najednou upadl do šoku Michálek. Pravděpodobně to byl první výchovný zásah, který za svůj krátký život zažil. Okamžitě přestal hamtat na stolek, odcouval do zadní části místnosti, kde se pokusil vsáknout do stěny a stát se neviditelným. Po zbytek prohlídky jsem o něm neslyšela, neviděla a s klidem jsme pokračovali…

Učitelka jako by najednou pookřála. Do tváře se jí vrátila barva, v očích se chabě rozsvítila jiskřička. Pochopila jsem, že Michálkův důležitý tatínek jí dělal ze života nejspíš neuvěřitelné peklo. Když jsme se loučili, udělali si poslední společnou fotku a já jsem vypustila školáky na nádvoří, přitočila se ke mě a tiše zašeptala:

Děkuju.“

415 komentářů u „Jak jsem zbila chlapečka… a jiné vzpomínky

  1. Brava!! Já to udělala před 20 lety chorvatskému 17letému Michálkovi (cca 180cm živé výšky). Už když mi ta ruka letěla, věděla jsem, že to bude průšvih.
    Nebyl a profesorka, když jsem se jí omlouvala, prohlásila:“ Nevadí, naopak! Ještě prosím o tamhletoho a tamtoho a toho s brejlema taky!“

    Zdraví Vaše starší ( služebně i věkovè) kolegyně

  2. Zdravím a moc děkuju. 🙂 Nejhorší je, že i ten učitel kolikrát ví, že by pomohl výchovný pohlavek, ale v neustále visící hrozbě v podobě rozzuřených rodičů, to nemůže udělat… 😀

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