O pěti bodech

Deníček průvodkyně se letos dočká zahájení ještě před samotným provázením. To je ale věc! Že jsem zaměstnaná na mikulovském zámku, to je taky věc (ale už dobře známá). Ještě jednou pro ujasnění – jsem tu jako PR a trochu jako produkční. NEJSEM tady jako průvodce. A přesto jsem si minulý týden zaprováděla jako divá.

Celé to provádění bylo vlastně hrozně neplánované a vůbec se nemělo stát. Proč? Protože nemám nabouchané průvodcovské texty, takže zvládnu obluzovat případné novináře, firmy, inzerenty sofistikovanými poznámkami, které ale nejsou ucelená přednáška. Sem tam perlička. Sem tam fakt. Jistě, člověk toho spoustu zjistí při psaní všemožných PR článků, tiskovek, inzerátů, vykládáním si s kolegy, kteří už pomalu mají na zadku vytetované inventární číslo, ale pořád to nenahradí naučený text.

Dalo by se říct, že o tom zámku vím plus mínus pět věcí:

  • Původně tu byl hrad (strážil hranici království), přestavěn v renesanci a baroku.
  • Lichtensteini a Dietrichsteini
  • Obří sud ve sklepě váží 26 tun a má objem přes 100 000 litrů a byl vyroben v polovině 17. století.
  • Kardinál František sem přesunul kardinálský (kardinální, haha) dvůr.
  • Na konci 2. světové války to všechno shořelo.

Not much, není-liž pravda. A přesto se mi povedlo v minulém týdnu hned dvakrát z tady toho krátkého seznámku vytvořit moc pěkný, fundovaný a hlavně hodinu trvající výklad! A to si zaslouží fanfáru, aplaus a pochvalu před nastoupenou „vétřieskou“.

První byl zájezd švédských cestovek. Domluva zněla: Přijedem v šest, ukážete nám sklep s obřím sudem, něco o něm řeknete tak dvě tři věty a my půjdem. Realita vypadala: V šest nikdo nepřijel, delegace se uráčila dorazit v osm. Ve sklepě mi mezitím příšerně zmrzl zadek, takže výklad (navíc v angličtině!!) jsem hodlala omezit na co nejstručnější informace (rok výroby, váha, objem, pauzička na údiv a jdeme pryč). Jenže život míní, víno mění. Oni si tam totiž zařídili i degustaci vína a tak někde mezi druhým a třetím vzorkem padlo nevyhnutelné: „So, tell us something more about the chateaux.“ A já jsem byla nucená vypotit (pořád ještě v angličtině!!) jakýs takýs výklad kombinující všechny sylaby, které jsem kdy dostala do ruky, který vlastně nebyl vůbec špatný, ale kdyby mě měl poslouchat, nedejbože, někdo, kdo tomu rozumí, musela bych se propadnout. Ale povedlo se. Švédi odjížděli spokojení, jen netuším, nakolik to bylo mnou a nakolik tím vínem.

Druhou čáru přes můj průvodcovský rozpočet mi udělal kolega, který mě v pondělí (kdy máme zavřeno) chytil na chodbě se slovy, že jsou tu novináři a chtějí provést. Já sice o ničem nevěděla, ale darovanému novináři na presskartu nehleď. Takže jdeme. Chtěli vidět něco zajímavého, tvářili se, že by z toho mohla být i reportáž. Až příliš pozdě mi došlo, že jsou prostě na dovolený a oba jsme jim nalítli na ten nejstarší trik na světě. Každopádně už bylo pozdě zahazovat klíče a tak jsme šli. Do sklepa k sudu, kde jsem je patřičně ohromila svojí znalostí procesu zpracování vína (nevím o tom ale vůbec, vůbec nic, moje představy o vinařství se zasekly někde v době kdy se hrozny drtily šlapáním v kádích). Následně jsem se je pokusila ohromit současným uměním na jedné z dočasných výstav, ale ukázalo se, že slovenští novináři postmoderně nefandí. Celou exkurzi jsme zakončili v galerii, kde je instalovaná expozice bytových kultur od gotiky po empír, což je něco, kde aspoň trochu cítím pevnou půdu pod nohama, a můžu stavět na obecným rozhledu a přirozeným šarmu. Po hodině jsem byla bohatší o tři stovky a tvrzení, že lepší prohlídku nezažili. No prosím!

A tak teď ve volném čase, který nemám, studuju průvodcovské texty. A vypadá to, že na svůj nekončící seznam objektů, které zvládnu odprovádět i ve spaní, přidávám i Mikulov.

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