Ve čtvrtek jsem byla na konferenci… V Praze… Byla boží a končila v devět večer. O půl desáté se mi podařilo opustit se služebním vozem Chodov-červené parkoviště, za mohutného používání slov, který mladá, slušně vychovaná dáma nezná.
Najela jsem na D1 a pamětliva toho, že to auto žere jako nedovřené jsem na 111 kilometru odbočila na čerpací stanici OMV – Pávov. U vědomí, že řídím služební, jsem si vytáhla futrálek s CCS kartou, natankovala plnou a neustále se soustředila na to, abych tam tu blbou kartu s futrálkem nenechala.
Odfičela jsem z benzínky a na 178 kilometru znejistěla a počala šátrat vedle sebe na sedadle, kde sice ležel futrálek, ale už tam neležela moje peněženka. (Není od věci, že v ten moment začala z rádia hrát tahle píseň!!! Jen si počkejte na refrén.)
Zabrzdila jsem na nejbližší benzínce a vyštrachala účtenku, na které díky bohu musí být kontakt. V telefonu se ozvalo veselé: „No my si říkaly kdy zavoláte. Může vám to někdo dovézt?“ Vybavila jsem si něco o tom, že v autoškole říkali, že není moc chytrý jezdit bez papírů, natož ve služebním voze, takže jsem na nejbližším sjezdu opustila směr domov a zamířila zpátky se stověžaté matičce. Kilometry vesele ubíhaly, částečně také proto, že jsem fičela 170 km/h a sakrovala jako starý námořník. Cestou jsem minula jednu policejní hlídku, která za mnou ovšem nevyjela, takže očekávám, že mi přistane na stole dopis s pruhem nejpozději příští týden.
Ukázalo se také, že opustit dálnici není nic jednoduchého, zejména pokud potřebujete udělat rychlý obrat. Sjezd na Větrný Jeníkov, který se mi jevil jako nejvýhodnější byl uzavřen, což jsem zjistila, až když jsem po něm sjela. Prokličkovala jsem tedy mezi blikajícími zátarasy a poslušně se vrátila na dálnici. To už jsem nesakrovala, ale kurvovala, až se okýnka otřásaly.
Nadjela jsem si dalších dvacet kiláků, než se mi konečně podařilo sjet a obrátit se znovu směr domov a ztracená peněženka. Počítala jsem kilometry a vyblikávala každýho blba v polským kamionu, který měl tu smůlu a dostal se mi do cesty. Jen jsem se modlila, abych to nepohnojila a nepřejela. Nepřejela.
Vpadla jsem na inkriminovanou benzínku jak velká voda a přivítalo mě zvolání obou slečen čerpadlářek: „Vy jste tady teda rychle.“ Kdyby věděly! Drapla jsem peněženku a s mnoha úklonami a slovy díků jsem se vypoklonkovala ze dveří.
Byla půlnoc a já měla nervy na huntě. Volala jsem ještě pro jistotu svému drahému, který mi vždycky nadává, že mu nikdy nedám vědět, když se zpozdím a on pak trne strachy. Jeho reakce byla šokující. Poté co jsem vylíčila celé svoje putování, nadávala na stavitele všech dálnic a sjezdů, kteří na D1 neudělali kruháč, oznámil mi prostě: „No jo, jo. Jsi pako. Ale objednával jsem si KFCčko a představ si popletli mi objednávku, tak mám večeři pro asi pět lidí. Přijeď kdy chceš.“
Celý tady to taky vysvětluje, proč jsem na trase Brno-Praha-Brno najela 622 kilometrů a od tankování na inkriminované benzínce projela na 200 km půlku nádrže. Takže můžu tankovat znova.
Moc se těším, až tuhle historku budu reprodukovat v práci, až budu vysvětlovat jak je možné, že jsem najela o cca 200 kilometrů víc, než jsem měla.
A v pondělí jedu do Prahy zas… Tak schválně, kde nechám co? Tipovat můžete v komentářích.
To byla hezká pohádka! Konec dobrý, všechno dobré. 🙂
To byla hezká pohádka! Konec dobrý, všechno dobré. 🙂
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